End of Tenancy Cleaning in Shirley

Bywood Avenue is one of those Shirley streets where you could take a photograph at number 12 and another at number 48 and the only difference would be the colour of the front door. The 1930s semis line both sides, each pair a mirror of the next, bay windows facing the street, driveways where the front gardens were, back gardens long enough to kick a ball in without hitting the fence on the first bounce. The trees along the pavement are mature enough to meet in the middle, which gives the street a green tunnel effect in summer and a slippery-leaf effect in November.

Three bedrooms, a front lounge, a rear kitchen-diner where the wall had been knocked through, a family bathroom, a lean-to conservatory off the kitchen, and a garden. The family had been there 2 years — two parents, two children aged 11 and 8. He caught the tram to East Croydon and then the train to London Bridge. She worked part-time at a school on Wickham Road. £1,800 a month. Managed by Cubitt & West from their Shirley office on Wickham Road.

Parked on the driveway. No restrictions, no meters, no permit. A blackbird was singing from the roof of the garage next door.

Kitchen-diner first. About 13 sqm with the wall gone. A freestanding gas cooker — a Belling, single oven, four burners. Two years of a family that cooked proper meals most evenings — the 11-year-old had started cooking lessons at school and was practicing at home, which meant the hob had a slightly wider splatter pattern than a household where only the adults used the stove. The oven was moderate. Double dwell on the cavity. One pass on everything. The roof needed a second pass around the element. Hob cleaned, burner caps soaked — a small smear of melted cheese on one cap from what had probably been a toastie made without the sandwich press.

Worktops — laminate — wiped. Sink descaled. Fridge-freezer cleaned. Inside all the cupboards. Under the sink: washing-up liquid, two sponges, a bin bag, and a recorder. A descant recorder, the cream-coloured plastic kind that every Year 4 child in the country owns. It had rolled under the sink at some point and stayed there. Floor — vinyl — mopped. Behind the cooker: pulled out, wall degreased. A clothes peg and a grape. Kitchen total: 30 minutes.

Conservatory. About 7 sqm, lean-to UPVC off the kitchen. This was the after-school zone — the room where homework happened and where the PlayStation lived. Fingerprints on the glass at the height of a child holding a controller while looking out of the window. Five panes of interior glass cleaned. The door track to the garden had dried mud and a small twig. Track vacuumed, cloth through. Floor — vinyl — mopped. 12 minutes.

Front lounge. Carpeted, vacuumed. Bay window — UPVC, cleaned. Gas fire in a modern surround — wiped. Radiator done. 8 minutes.

Bathroom. A white suite — bath with an electric shower over and a glass screen, pedestal basin, close-coupled toilet. Two years of Croydon hard water and a family of four. The shower screen had moderate limescale on the lower half. Double descaler, two passes. Taps — moderate crusts at the bases. Bath waterline — the honest ring of a household where two children have baths and two adults have showers and nobody descales anything in between. Standard treatment. Toilet — calcium below the waterline. Standard soak, manual scrubbing. Grout in the shower area: a patch of mould at the sealant line. Anti-mould spray, came off. Floor — vinyl — mopped. 24 minutes.

Three bedrooms. Master: carpeted, vacuumed. UPVC bay window at the front. Fitted wardrobe wiped inside. 10 minutes. Second bedroom — the 11-year-old's room. Carpet vacuumed. Window cleaned. A small desk — the landlord's — wiped. The wall above the desk had a strip of Blu-Tack residue about 30cm long at eye height — the ghost of a poster, probably a football team or a band, removed by the tenant but leaving the mounting strip behind. Cleaned off. The paint beneath had a very faint colour difference where the poster had protected it from light — a rectangular shadow about A2 size. Documented as cosmetic. 10 minutes.

Youngest child's room: carpet vacuumed. Window cleaned. The wardrobe had a small whiteboard marker drawing on the inside of the door — a smiley face, green, about 5cm across. It had been drawn on the painted surface rather than on a whiteboard, which is what happens when an 8-year-old has a whiteboard marker and a moment of inspiration. Cleaned with a damp cloth. It came off the gloss paint. 8 minutes.

Stairs and hallway: carpeted, vacuumed. Front door wiped. 6 minutes.

Total time: 3.5 hours. Two people. A 3-bed 1930s semi with a conservatory, a gas oven, hard water, a melted-cheese burner cap, a recorder under the sink, and a smiley face drawn on the inside of a wardrobe door by a child who hadn't quite understood the difference between a whiteboard and a wardrobe door. Shirley is full of houses like this. The families change. The houses don't. The cheese on the burner cap and the recorder under the sink are different in every house but the oven and the bathroom and the conservatory are the same.

Cubitt & West's negotiator arrived two days later. She drove from the Shirley office on Wickham Road — about 3 minutes. She'd let this house 2 years earlier and she'd let the house three doors down last month.

Kitchen: oven opened, phone torch in. Roof checked. Clean. Burner cap where the cheese had been: she looked at it. Clean. Tap base: touched. Smooth. Behind the cooker: she crouched and looked. Clean. The recorder was on the counter. She didn't comment.

Bathroom: shower screen angle-tested. Clean. Taps touched. Toilet crouched, looked below the waterline. Clean. Sealant where the mould had been: looked at. Fine.

Conservatory: she glanced at the glass. Clean. Track: she didn't check it. She'd been in this house before and the track had been fine last time. She trusted the pattern.

Older child's room: the poster shadow on the wall. She looked at it. Compared to the check-in — the wall had been freshly painted 2 years ago. The shadow was faint. She photographed it, noted it as cosmetic light-fade. Not charged.

Youngest child's room: she opened the wardrobe. Looked at the inside of the door where the smiley face had been. Clean. She smiled. She'd seen a lot of things drawn on the inside of wardrobe doors in Shirley. Smiley faces were among the more benign.

Nine minutes. Everything passed. The poster shadow was noted as cosmetic. The recorder and the grape-stem were noted as tenant property.

Deposit returned in full within 8 days. The family moved to a 4-bed detached on Shirley Church Road — closer to the hills, bigger garden, the extra bedroom they needed because the 11-year-old was too old to share the PlayStation space without complaint. The recorder went with them, headed for a new cupboard or a new spot under a new sink, because nobody ever throws away a recorder and nobody ever practices one after Year 5.