Sing it out loud and let yourself free
First of all, we’re sorry. A breakup is always hard no matter if you saw it coming or it happens all of a sudden. We’re not going to dig further in it, giving you a piece of advice instead is probably the thing you need to move on or at least it will make this whole misery much more bearable.
So it’s time to get out of the bed, throw away the napkins and stand your ground. Plus, we’ve gathered just the right playlist, which will help you move forward in an instant.
It is quite lavish, so by the time you get to the end of the last song, you’ll surely have forgotten all about your ex girlfriend, (even if she had the looks of a Victoria’s Secret Angel), or former boyfriend (even if he was the incarnation of the Prince Charming in flesh and bone).
Music is among the best and most powerful drugs out there, you know, so use this powerful tool to your advantage.
Cleanin’ Out My Closet
Leaving Eminem aside (unless his beats make you feel better), we mean this quite literally.
Remember that stupid old thing he or she once bought you? Well, it’s time to let it go.
In the perfect scenario, you won’t be overly attached to possessions and way too far sentimental to keep that movie ticket from your first date.
burn let it all burn and just to make it clear - this is 30 second to Mars’s advice not ours. However, you may not take this thought as literally as our first statement but still, if it makes you feel better, just take some safety measures (because as you know, the alcohol is not exactly the thing that will help you to put out a fire) and go for it.
All birthday postcards and eventual love letters or silly notes will be warmly welcomed by the flames.
Getting back to the closet. If this was some serious kind of relationship, we bet that in the good old times your former lover left behind some clothes or at least a T-shirt to be remembered by. This must go – Now.
Mandatorily purge your relationship junk drawer. The last thing you need is any kind of reminder of a relationship that is no longer. And you can find something worthy of burning in there as well – just saying.
Still, if there’s something really meaningful or expensive (come on, we know that the things that hold any sort of sentimental value are priceless, but this doesn’t change the fact that we’re living in a material world, after all) for you like a pair of expensive earrings, luxurious watch or in the worst case scenario – engagement ring, put it aside for now and figure out what you’re going to do with it later.
If you’re completely certain that you want to keep this generous or quite cute present, just put it somewhere where it surely won’t meet the eye any time soon. Like the bottom of your junk drawer or Alaska…
Prepare a garbage bag and put everything that reminds you of your ex inside. It’s best to throw it away immediately but we can easily understand if you need some time to think this over. Meanwhile…
Pump up the volume because it’s time to put your newly discovered strengths to some good use.
And what could possibly be better than cleaning the chaos you left behind last night?! Unburned candles, that glass of wine, an empty bottle, some leftover snacks and probably a lot of tissues. Get rid of them all and try your best to focus on the bright and clear future ahead of you. It may be hard at first but once you start washing the dishes, it will occur to you.
So it’s simply bound to work in this scenario as well. After all by doing something that cleanses your living space, subconsciously you’re doing the same with the toxic thoughts in your head as well… And we can bet that all the Eastern beliefs and new age propaganda will agree with our point.
At least instead of letting the mess conquer your home, you will get rid of it at once all together with some no longer wanted possessions, which remind you of your former significant other.
On top of that, according to psychology, if you can’t do anything to improve your feelings and well-being from the inside out, you should do the exact opposite and take care of your surroundings, which will hopefully lead to the same positive effect on your inner world as well.
While on the exterior topic, let’s talk a little about your interior.
Rearranging your home is always refreshing and will boost your imagination. Only this time, insread of fantasizing about being forever together with your ex, you will put some creativity into making your place more appealing.
Now is the time to get rid of all of her or his belongings that you honestly never liked and make some space for the things You like.
Out with the old, simply means inviting the new in your life and the sun may shine just around the corner of your street, but only if you let it.
So roll up your sleeves and get rid of all of the bad memories. After all, why you would need that framed picture, vase or wine stand, when all it does is to remind you of someone, who is no longer a part of your life.
Less is more, they say, so it’s about time for you to get the control over your home back.
After you’ve been through all of your former honey’s stuff, it’s inevitable to keep on thinking what could be different and what you could’ve said or done better the very last time you talked.
So grab a blank piece of paper and a pen and write it all down. Pour it all out. The love, the anger, the good and bad, and seal it.
You’ve guessed right - Burn the letter away! According to any self-care book on the market and beyond, this will help you to get rid of the toxic energy. If you’re not in arson mood, just tear down the written in pieces so small that they could easily pass through the ear of a sewing needle.
Turn the page and throw away the leftovers all together with the stuff in the garbage bag (you’ve had quite the time to say your last goodbyes with them) and keep on reading, because we have some extra overcoming breakup tips.
Sleeping in the car
It may not seem like that at first but still, if you’re the one that's moving out from your former love nest, this means fewer worries, since all the memories will be left behind no matter if you want it or not. You won’t ever have to look at the empty bed wishing for him or her to be there in the morning, while wandering through a place that constantly reminds you of your former lover.
Once you’ve hit the road for good, don’t rush things and try to stay with a friend for a week or two. If you don’t want to overstay your welcome, you can always book a hostel for a few nights, until you find a new place to live.
Looking on the bright side, you’re the one who will have the advantage of a fresh start, even though it’s kind of a forced one, unless you’ve seen this coming and have already prepared yourself for this scenario…
No matter what, this is the perfect opportunity to start over as clean as a whistle.
So getting rid of your ex’s former possessions, if you’ve accidently kept some, is the first step, followed by arranging your very own space in your own taste and manner.
Once you’re done, follow the steps below, since they are relevant to you and your self-esteem, instead of the place you now call home.
Having Self Control
After all has been said and done and you’re home looks a little more like your own and you are free enough of unwanted stuff, like recalling bad memories, it’s time to embrace the world once more. Starting right now.
First thing’s first – head up straight to the bathroom and let it all out – scream, cry, curse – whatever you need and whatever helps you get through the day.
Let the water wash away all the negativity and grief and let it clean your thoughts along with your skin.
Put on makeup or go through an extended version of your morning/beauty routine and put on something comfortable but yet splendid.
Just remember to avoid dark colours and baggy clothes at all cost. After all, you want to look your best on your first day as a free person, ready to garnish the offered lemons with some salt and tequila.
We’ve presumed that you’ve already blocked all of his or her social media accounts and incoming calls from your ex, if not do so. You don’t want to end up begging for forgiveness or compulsively checking their feed the next minute when you’ve just gained some dignity back.
Still, if this sounds too harsh for you, choose the cleverly added option:
take a break and just let it be, at least for a good amount of souring time.
Those shoes are made for walking and that’s exactly what they should do. Spend as much time as you can outside.
It may sound like a total cliché, but fresh air really does help to clear your head and so does seeing the sun as well, especially at sunrise. Once people tend to believe that the first rays of light somehow incarnate their magnificent power to brighten up the world inside of you. We can’t guarantee that for sure but it won’t hurt to give it a try. Especially if you decide to combine it with a morning jogging or yoga or whatever activity that involves movement and a lot of breathing.
If you’re nowhere near an early bird and see yourself more like a night owl, you can try to do the same by using the moonlight instead. After all, nearly every mythology has a myth, related to its divine powers, so as long as you’re not alone in the woods somewhere, go for it.
The moral of the story is that whatever you do, it’s highly advisable to spend at least two hours a day outside, leaving your cave of forgotten dreams and torn away hopes behind and interacting with the real outer world instead.
Don’t moan on social media. It won’t do any good to anyone, especially you, long before Facebook reminds you of your memories made last year at this time.
You don’t want someone to feel pity about you, don’t you? It is definitely not the time to play the victim here, now or frankly ever.
Doing the exact opposite is nowhere near a good strategy as well. Do you really think that your friends will buy how happy and splendid you are the very next day after you’ve changed your relationship status to single? Don’t overdo it. Leave the theater to the actors and focus on something else instead.
Honestly, it’s best to simply limit your presence on the social media for a week or two, until you clear your head a bit. We don’t ask you to delete your profile or something - just don’t expose everything that crossed your mind on your news feed.
Of course, that right now you’re vulnerable and need a friend and a shoulder to put your head on and eventually cry a little. But choose wisely. Unfortunately, not all of the people in your surroundings mean only good to you – simply because of the world we live in. So now is the time to rely on your closest friends and on a bottle of wine or whiskey or shots of tequila or whatever alcohol your pity thoughts need to disappear.
And logically we get to our next and extremely important monition:
If you’re about to drunk call or text your ex, get your friends to put your phone away or even better – to throw it in a volcano. If you really, really want to talk to your former love one or even worse - see this as a life or death situation, we beg you to please wait until the morning comes and after the hangover finally melts away in a gigantic cup of coffee and a couple of soluble aspirins with a solid amount of water.
Being Socially Active
Congratulations, you’ve just survived the first few days of your breakup, and it’s bound to get much easier as the time is passing by.
Don’t dare to forget, that whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time you’ve got, so make the best of it.
Meaning – Socialize.
Whatever you do don’t burn the bridges with your close friends and don’t voluntarily become a hostage in your home and of your regretful thoughts.
Sign up for a dance class, a boxing class, yoga, buy a gym membership – you’ve got the idea – just meet with other people under circumstances that don’t require talking and make you participate in fun activities together.
On top of that – you’ll be in tremendous shape, which will surely boost your self-confidence not to mention the health benefits.
Plus, you will find the right thing to catalyze your anger in, except cleaning, of course.
If this wasn’t enough to convince you in all of the benefits, which training can offer, have in mind that if you’re really tired after an exhausting workout, you surely won’t have the power to grief over the past.
Don’t waste your precious time to scheme how to get your ex back, scheme how to get yourself back instead. You’re the one who matters the most and you shouldn’t let anyone convince you otherwise. And never ever blame yourself for the past. It is what it is and it’s time to move on because your story is not over yet.
If some time close to your breakup, you get invited to a party, where your ex will surely be… don’t go. Just resist the temptation to get your well-deserved, cold-blooded revenge by showing your astonishing look or by taking your potential partner with you.
The best thing you can do is to spare yourself the drama and enjoy a quiet and relaxing night at home instead of acting like a teenager from a rom-com.
And since we mentioned a new potential partner, simply don’t rush into another relationship right away. Even if you think that you’ve just exchanged numbers with your one and only love of your life, if this is so – it is bound to happen just not on the very second you’ve been through a harsh breakup. Take it slow and enjoy every little thing you’ve just rediscovered, although it used to seem as if this will never happen again, not to you at least.
We hope that this article did a little something to lift your spirit, if not - go on a shopping spree or pack your bags and go on a vacation for a couple of days or simply leave the city during the weekend and do something exciting and fun.
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